“Shame on you!” Do you remember that statement? I picture a schoolteacher back in the day wagging her finger in the face of a young kid, proceeding to put that white, cone-shaped “dunce” cap on top of the disruptive child’s head. The purpose was to disgrace the child’s naughty behavior believing that shame would correct behavior.
Today we understand that feeling shame does not drive a positive behavior of making better choices. In fact, shame causes people to shrink, to hide, to live as a smaller version of themselves. Actions or inactions driven by feeling shame can also cause us to make one bad choice after another.
Shame carries additional words of weight like humiliation, guilt, and dishonor – all of which makes me cringe.
Shame has kept many people defeated in their daily life. I’ve witnessed people so full of life crumble into a heap of rubble because of some bad choices they have made. Their once confident, tall stance turned into a defeated, slouched frame.
Thoughts like What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll never be good enough. I don’t deserve anything good in my life, can have such a stronghold in a person’s mind.
God’s Word says a powerful statement that lasso’s shame and wrangles it down to the ground in defeat, where it belongs.
“Because of the joy awaiting Him, he (Jesus) endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” (1)
Jesus disregarded shame- He ignored its taunting, “Look at how pitiful you are hanging on a criminal’s cross. You’ll never amount to anything; you’ll die as a criminal in the eyes of people. What will people think of you now? You are ruined. You’re not enough. You really messed up this time. You’ll never recover.”
Shame – what a jerk.
But Jesus did something that slammed shame right in its ugly face.
Disregard means to ignore, pay no attention to, dismiss. Disregard is a verb, an action word. This means we must act – take action against shame.
But what if my choices have caused the pain? What if I deserve to feel shame?
Even if your choices have been the cause of your pain or someone else’s pain, if you believe in Jesus and have a repentant heart, you are forgiven.
A repentant heart means you know you’re not perfect, you know you have things in your life that take you away from God, you know you want to improve in areas of your life – you want to do better.
It sounds so simple and elementary that many people miss the power of choosing the saving grace of Jesus.
Well, you can do one of two things:
*Release the guilt you feel by asking Jesus to help you disregard and overcome shame, just as He did. (Stop listening to shame’s taunting)
*Or you can do nothing, take the taunting voice of shame and continue to make poor choices from feeling so condemned, unworthy, and guilty.
Either way you choose is an action towards a decision. One action will lead you to freedom and the other action will keep you bound to the heavy chains of shame your entire life.
The goal of shame is to keep you operating in a self-sabotaging way. Shame will whisper, “You really messed up. You deserve to be punished. You should do all you can to punish yourself no matter what others tell you, no matter how others tell you how much they love you. You don’t deserve their love.”
Feeling guilty and ashamed also makes it difficult to love yourself or even life yourself.
You may have made some terrible choices that hurt your family, those around you or even have hurt yourself.
Or what if shame landed on you by someone else’s actions? If someone ridiculed you or abused you – shame is right there waiting to take over those wounded areas in your heart whispering You deserved it.
Feeling condemned, ashamed, guilty all of the time is not your destiny. The enemy of your soul wants this to be how you live your life.
But the truth is: This is how much God loved the world (you): He gave His one and only Son so that no one need be destroyed. God didn’t send His Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world (you) how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world (you) right again. (2)
Jesus did not come to judge and condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (3)
I added the word you to make it personal. This is God’s message to you.
Don’t you long to break free from the chains of shame? Yes, of course you do!
So, make the powerful choice today to ask Jesus to help you. After all, Jesus carried a cross full of shame and yet was blameless. Why did He do such a torturous thing? Because He fully understood how shame tortures us. Jesus wants to take the heavy chains of shame and guilt off us, so we are free to receive the supernatural, powerful love of God –but we need to release it and hand Jesus the key.
We may think we deserve to feel shame from bad decisions we have made or from other people’s actions against us. Feeling shame isn’t a direct outcome of cause and effect – it’s a choice.
Shame blocks love. Shame burdens your soul.
Who will you allow to win the seat of your heart? A powerful, loving, forgiving God or an ugly, defeated jerk like shame?
It’s your choice.
Every time you feel ashamed or guilt, take action and release it into the powerful hands of Jesus. Allow God to restore you back to honor.
So, prepare your mind for action and exercise self-control.
-1Peter 1:13 NLT
“For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
-Romans 10:10-13 NLT
(1) Hebrews 12:2
(2) John 3:16-18 MSG
(3) John 3:17 AMP (paraphrase)